Marriage

So that one shall chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight.

Psalm 68:35

A marriage union is powerful! God has brought you both together, and together you become 10,000 times greater and stronger.

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Do everything in love.

1 Corinthians 16:14

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ...

Ephesians 5:25-33

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Ten Ways

Bringing you closer to your spouse and closer to God.

Number 1

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Love is not a feeling; love is a commitment. Our world has redefined love to be nothing more than a fickle feeling that comes and goes. Based on this hollow definition of love, married couples often call it quits simply because they’ve “fallen out of love” or “don’t feel the same way they used to feel.” Resist the temptation to base your marriage on your feelings. Build your marriage on a rock-solid commitment and your feelings will usually have a way of catching up.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

How am I communicating my love and commitment to my spouse every day?

Number 2

Be an encourager; the world has plenty of critics already.

Choose to be your spouse’s biggest encourager; not his/her biggest critic. Choose to be the person who wipes away their tears; not the one who causes them. Choose to become a cheerleader for your spouse’s strengths instead of always pointing out his/

her weaknesses. Encouragement is a simple-but-powerful tool to bring fuel to your marriage and joy to your spouse.

“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

PROVERBS 12:25 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Through both my words and my actions, how can I be a better encourager to my spouse?

Number 3

Marriage means being there for each other no matter what!

A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the time.

It requires a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in those moments when the other feels weak. Your spouse should never have to face any obstacle without your full partnership, encouragement and support. You might not always be able to offer the perfect answer or the perfect solution, but simply by offering yourself and your support you can create a perfect opportunity for growth in your relationship.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

GALATIANS 6:2 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

Does my spouse know that I will be there for him/her no matter what?

Number 4

Treat your spouse like a priority; not like an interruption.

Never take your spouse for granted. Make sure he/she knows that you value your marriage more than any other part of your schedule. You can show your spouse the place of priority he/she always holds in your heart by simply answering the phone whenever he/she calls, always being thoughtful, and remembering that you’re never too busy to be thoughtful and respectful to each other.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

ROMANS 12:10 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

Do my words and my actions consistently communicate that my spouse is a top priority?

Number 5

Thoughtfulness is a source of fuel that keeps a marriage going strong.

You don’t need a lot of money or any special set of skills to

be thoughtful and considerate towards each other. Don’t let selfishness or pride distract you from consistently putting the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. When a marriage

has both spouses intentionally being considerate and showing thoughtfulness to each other, the marriage will thrive. Make sure your spouse knows that he/she is always on your mind.

“Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:5A (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Am I consistently thoughtful and considerate towards my spouse?

Number 6

Choose an attitude of gratitude everyday.

It’s not happy people who are thankful; it’s thankful people who are happy. Choose to say “Thank you” to your spouse for all he/ she does and always remember to say “Thank you” to your Savior for all He has done. Let gratitude replace grumbling in your marriage. The next time you feel like complaining about your boss, stop and give thanks that you have a job. The next time you feel like complaining about a messy house, pause and give thanks that you have a family instead of a clean-but-empty house. Give thanks for everything.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 THESSALONIANS 5:18 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

How would my marriage look differently if I spent less time complaining and more time giving thanks?

Number 7

Celebrate your spouse’s strengths instead of pointing out weaknesses.

When we focus on something, it starts to seem bigger. If you choose to focus on your spouse’s strengths, they’ll seem even bigger, but if you focus only on weaknesses and flaws, you’ll see them even when they aren’t really there. If you must focus on flaws, always start with your own flaws. You are the only part of the marriage that you truly have the power to change. Always be willing to build up your spouse instead of looking for ways to tear him/her down.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?”

MATTHEW 7:3 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Am I better at celebrating my spouse’s strengths or at pointing out his/her weaknesses?

Number 8

Choices made in anger lead to regrets.

Anger is a natural human emotion. We all feel it, so the Bible never says that anger itself is a sin. Anger, however, can easily lead us into sin. We tend to make our worst choices when we’re responding in anger. If you are quick to anger, you should pray and ask God to reveal the root causes that are robbing you of joy. You should also be very careful not to allow your anger to control you, because it could also sabotage your marriage.

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

PROVERBS 29:11 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Do I make my choices in anger or do I make my choices with wisdom?

Number 9

It’s not our job to fix people; it’s our job to love them even while they are broken.

There will be times you are tempted to “fix” your spouse or change something about your spouse, but resist that temptation. When one spouse tries to change the other, neither of them are changed but both of them end up frustrated! Instead of fixing or changing or coercing, just love each other. Love is what God uses to change us all. Love is the very tool God will use to fix us and change us into all that we were intended to be.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

1 PETER 4:8 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

How can we love and accept our spouse more today than yesterday?

Number 10

A husband and wife must function like two wings on the same bird. They must work together in harmony or the marriage will never get off the ground.

Marriage is a partnership. It’s not just a partnership in a business sense, but it’s the most sacred type of partnership. It’s two people committing their lives to God and to each other. It’s a promise to be there for each other through every season. It’s a vow to bring out the best in each other and to always have each other’s back. It’s a selfless act of placing the needs of your spouse ahead of your own need. When both spouses will consistently do this for the other, the marriage will soar!

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

EPHESIANS 5:21 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

In what areas of our marriage do we need to develop a stronger partnership?

Your daily commitment to growing closer to your spouse should continue. Keep building your marriage on a foundation of God’s Word.

“Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.”

PSALM 37:5 (NLT)

A special thank you to Dave and Ashley Willis & MarriageToday

Books

Pastor David was given a copy of this book in Bible College. He says the key to his successful marriage is due to reading the chapters about Her Needs twice a year to keep him a strong and serving husband.