Marriage

So that one shall chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight.

Psalm 68:35

A marriage union is powerful! God has brought you both together, and together you become 10,000 times greater and stronger.

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Do everything in love.

1 Corinthians 16:14 

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ...

Ephesians 5:25-33

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Ten Ways

Bringing you closer to your spouse and closer to God.

Number 1

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Love is not a feeling; love is a commitment. Our world has redefined love to be nothing more than a fickle feeling that comes and goes. Based on this hollow definition of love, married couples often call it quits simply because they’ve “fallen out of love” or “don’t feel the same way they used to feel.” Resist the temptation to base your marriage on your feelings. Build your marriage on a rock-solid commitment and your feelings will usually have a way of catching up.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

1 CORINTHIANS 13:7 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

How am I communicating my love and commitment to my spouse every day?

Number 2

Be an encourager; the world has plenty of critics already.

Choose to be your spouse’s biggest encourager; not his/her biggest critic. Choose to be the person who wipes away their tears; not the one who causes them. Choose to become a cheerleader for your spouse’s strengths instead of always pointing out his/

her weaknesses. Encouragement is a simple-but-powerful tool to bring fuel to your marriage and joy to your spouse.

“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

PROVERBS 12:25 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Through both my words and my actions, how can I be a better encourager to my spouse?

Number 3

Marriage means being there for each other no matter what!

A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the time.

It requires a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in those moments when the other feels weak. Your spouse should never have to face any obstacle without your full partnership, encouragement and support. You might not always be able to offer the perfect answer or the perfect solution, but simply by offering yourself and your support you can create a perfect opportunity for growth in your relationship.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

GALATIANS 6:2 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

Does my spouse know that I will be there for him/her no matter what?

Number 4

Treat your spouse like a priority; not like an interruption.

Never take your spouse for granted. Make sure he/she knows that you value your marriage more than any other part of your schedule. You can show your spouse the place of priority he/she always holds in your heart by simply answering the phone whenever he/she calls, always being thoughtful, and remembering that you’re never too busy to be thoughtful and respectful to each other.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

ROMANS 12:10 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

Do my words and my actions consistently communicate that my spouse is a top priority?

Number 5

Thoughtfulness is a source of fuel that keeps a marriage going strong.

You don’t need a lot of money or any special set of skills to

be thoughtful and considerate towards each other. Don’t let selfishness or pride distract you from consistently putting the needs of your spouse ahead of your own. When a marriage

has both spouses intentionally being considerate and showing thoughtfulness to each other, the marriage will thrive. Make sure your spouse knows that he/she is always on your mind.

“Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:5A (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Am I consistently thoughtful and considerate towards my spouse?

Number 6

Choose an attitude of gratitude everyday.

It’s not happy people who are thankful; it’s thankful people who are happy. Choose to say “Thank you” to your spouse for all he/ she does and always remember to say “Thank you” to your Savior for all He has done. Let gratitude replace grumbling in your marriage. The next time you feel like complaining about your boss, stop and give thanks that you have a job. The next time you feel like complaining about a messy house, pause and give thanks that you have a family instead of a clean-but-empty house. Give thanks for everything.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 THESSALONIANS 5:18 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

How would my marriage look differently if I spent less time complaining and more time giving thanks?

Number 7

Celebrate your spouse’s strengths instead of pointing out weaknesses.

When we focus on something, it starts to seem bigger. If you choose to focus on your spouse’s strengths, they’ll seem even bigger, but if you focus only on weaknesses and flaws, you’ll see them even when they aren’t really there. If you must focus on flaws, always start with your own flaws. You are the only part of the marriage that you truly have the power to change. Always be willing to build up your spouse instead of looking for ways to tear him/her down.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?”

MATTHEW 7:3 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Am I better at celebrating my spouse’s strengths or at pointing out his/her weaknesses?

Number 8

Choices made in anger lead to regrets.

Anger is a natural human emotion. We all feel it, so the Bible never says that anger itself is a sin. Anger, however, can easily lead us into sin. We tend to make our worst choices when we’re responding in anger. If you are quick to anger, you should pray and ask God to reveal the root causes that are robbing you of joy. You should also be very careful not to allow your anger to control you, because it could also sabotage your marriage.

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

PROVERBS 29:11 (NLT)

Question for reflection:

Do I make my choices in anger or do I make my choices with wisdom?

Number 9

It’s not our job to fix people; it’s our job to love them even while they are broken.

There will be times you are tempted to “fix” your spouse or change something about your spouse, but resist that temptation. When one spouse tries to change the other, neither of them are changed but both of them end up frustrated! Instead of fixing or changing or coercing, just love each other. Love is what God uses to change us all. Love is the very tool God will use to fix us and change us into all that we were intended to be.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

1 PETER 4:8 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

How can we love and accept our spouse more today than yesterday?

Number 10

A husband and wife must function like two wings on the same bird. They must work together in harmony or the marriage will never get off the ground.

Marriage is a partnership. It’s not just a partnership in a business sense, but it’s the most sacred type of partnership. It’s two people committing their lives to God and to each other. It’s a promise to be there for each other through every season. It’s a vow to bring out the best in each other and to always have each other’s back. It’s a selfless act of placing the needs of your spouse ahead of your own need. When both spouses will consistently do this for the other, the marriage will soar!

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

EPHESIANS 5:21 (NIV)

Question for reflection:

In what areas of our marriage do we need to develop a stronger partnership?

Your daily commitment to growing closer to your spouse should continue. Keep building your marriage on a foundation of God’s Word.

“Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.”

PSALM 37:5 (NLT)

A special thank you to Dave and Ashley Willis & MarriageToday

Books

The 5 Basic Needs of a Man and a Woman

Notes from David

The five fundamental needs of men and women is something I have studied, experienced, and put into practice in my daily life.

A book was assigned to me when I was attending Bible college. I was single man at that time. The book is called HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS by the author Willard F. Harley, Jr.

I don't think the book HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS has been published in Arabic, but I thought I would share some information about this valuable book with you.

I read this book with the goal of learning and doing everything I could to make my future marriage a success. That meant not focusing on my own needs, but on the specific needs that I could best serve in my future wife.

I picked up this book again and read parts of it every year to help me meet my spouse's needs.

God brought me the girl of my dreams, Carol Joy, and I know that I have to work on my side to make sure that I am also the man of her dreams.

I just want you to know I look at this book for what I can do for my wife. What is my job to make her happy. I do not talk about what I am needing, that would be selfish. I only look how I can improve myself to be the best man to meet all of her needs. I have a great respect for the woman God has given to me. I love her and she deserves the best husband and so that is why I take time every year to think about the things that I can do to make her happy. Her personal needs are important to me.

I know that Carol Joy needs :

The first thing she can't do without - my affection

She needs me to talk to her - conversation

She needs to trust me completely - so I need to be totally honest and open about my feelings and everything in my life

She needs enough money to live comfortably - so she needs me to be a financial support to her

She needs me to be a good father to Max our son - she needs me to be totally commitment to the family

What I'm going to share with you from the book:

1. Who is the author of the book, His Needs, Her Needs?

2. Why was this book written? An excerpt from the book explaining why the 5 fundamental needs of men and women were identified.

3. The 5 fundamental needs of men and women

4. Contents of the book

Who is the author of the book, His Needs, Her Needs?

William Harley, Jr. has spent over thirty years developing and fine tuning a comprehensive marriage counseling program that has helped more than a million couples.

Why was this book written?

An excerpt from the book by the author explaining why the 5 basic needs of men and women are important.

Willard F. Harley, Jr.

By 1975, I had discovered why I and so many other therapists had such a hard time saving marriages. We didn't understand what made marriages work. We were all so preoccupied with what seemed to make them fail that we overlooked what made them succeed. Every time a couple came into my office, they were making each other miserable.

So I thought, like most others, that if I could just get them to communicate more clearly, resolve their conflicts more effectively, and stop arguing so much, their marriage would be saved. But that wasn't the solution.

When I asked them, “What would it take for you to be happy in your marriage again?”, most of them couldn't imagine that happening. But when I pressed them and the couples had a chance to think about my question, the answer I heard over and over again was, “For us to be in love again would be the answer to your question.”

Sure, poor communication, an inability to resolve conflicts, and fighting all contribute to the loss of love. But they are also symptoms of the loss of love. In other words, if I wanted to save the marriage, I had to go beyond improving communication. I had to learn how to restore love.

With this realization, I began to tackle the emotional issues rather than the rational ones. My primary goal in marriage counseling shifted from conflict resolution to restoring love. If I knew how to restore love, I thought, then communication, conflict resolution, and arguments might no longer be a problem.

By encouraging each spouse to do everything in their power to make the other happy and to avoid doing anything that made them unhappy, that feeling of love was restored in the very next couple I counseled. Their marriage was saved.

From that point on, whenever I saw a couple, I simply asked them what the other person could do to make them happier, and whatever the answer was, that became their first task. Of course, not all couples really knew what made them happy, and not all spouses were willing to do it. So I didn't succeed with every couple.

But as I refined my approach, I began to understand what husbands and wives needed from each other to trigger the feeling of love, and I helped them identify what each needed. I also became more effective at motivating them to fulfill that need, even if they didn't feel like it at first.

Before long, I was helping almost all couples fall back in love and avoid divorce. My method proved so effective that I left psychology teaching to devote myself full time to marriage counseling. As you can imagine, there were more couples who wanted my help than I could counsel.

This book I wrote will teach you what is most important in marriage: how to fall in love and stay in love with each other.

The 5 fundamental needs of men and women

WOMENS NEEDS

The first thing she can't do without - affection

She needs him to talk to her - conversation

She needs to trust him completely - honesty and openness

She needs enough money to live comfortably - financial support

She needs him to be a good father - commitment to the family

MENS NEEDS

The first thing he cannot do without - sexual fulfillment

He needs her to be his playmate - recreational companionship

He needs a beautiful woman - an attractive spouse He needs peace and quiet - domestic support

She needs him to be a good father - family commitment

He needs her to be proud of him - admiration

Contents of the book

Introduction

Is your marriage safe from infidelity?

Why your love account never runs out

The first thing she can't live without: affection

What he can't live without: sexual fulfillment

She needs him to talk to her: conversation

He needs her to be his playmate: recreational companionship

She needs to trust him completely: honesty and openness

He needs a beautiful woman: an attractive wife

She needs enough money to live comfortably: financial support

He needs peace and quiet: domestic support

She needs him to be a good father — Family commitment

He needs her to be proud of him — Admiration

How to survive an affair

From incompatibility to irresistibility

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Great Media for Marriages



 We are serious about your marriage.

Contacts us, we want to pray for the both of you.  God has a great things ahead for your marriage.