Friendship

 What creates a strong friendship? How do we know when someone is a true friend? Jesus demonstrated friendship in a variety of ways with many kinds of people. 

There is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24b (AMP)

Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.

Proverbs 18:24 (MSG)

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STUDY MATERIALS PURPOSE

The purpose of these study materials is to help, strengthen and educate the Persecuted Church around the world.

People have contacted us from very remote and persecuted areas of the world. These resources are not available to them and/or if they are seen with them they can be persecuted for their faith in Jesus Christ. Some people can only look at these resources for a brief moment on their cell phones. This library is dedicated to the Lord Jesus Christ and to those with fierce determination are following Him.

The books, media and information on this website are a library service and for educational purposes only. This is a lending library for the persecuted church around the world. Please look inside the back of each book or look up the authors name on the internet to obtain more information and more resources from these great ministries. Also, please financially support their ministries as they bring the good news of Jesus Christ to billions of people around the world.

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A True Friend

Written by Carolyn Savelle

Everyone needs a friend. We all need someone to "pal around" with, talk to, confide in, and just have fun with. Friends make us feel accepted, appreciated, loved and secure.

Have you ever been to a restaurant, sat at the table and had dinner with yourself? You feel like everyone in the restaurant is staring at you and thinking, "She must not have any friends." That may sound a bit extreme, but I know what that feeling is like.

When my daughters were in high school and busy with all the activities they were involved in, and Jerry was on the road travelling week after week, there were times when I felt so alone. I wanted to go out to eat, but who wants to go to a restaurant alone? I wanted to go out and do things, but who wants to go alone?

Shaking An Attitude Of Loneliness

There were times when I felt like the loneliest person in the world. And yes, many times I cried and complained to God about it, but there came a time when I had to realize, "God has a call on this family and we are instructed to carry it out - every one of us. God does not want me to feel alone while my husband is out preaching the Gospel."

I honestly had to shake myself and realize that I am not alone. I am never alone - not in the restaurant, not in the car, not at my house, never. I have Jesus Christ on the inside of me and He is with me at all times. He is my friend.

The word friend is defined as someone on terms of affection, regard for another, a companion, confidant. The wonderful thing about Jesus is that we can talk to him as long as we want - any time we want. We don't have to wait until he gets off work, or wakes up, or feeds the kids. He's there for us throughout the day. He is there for us through thick and thin, through the ups and downs, through it all!

He always has time to spend with you. He's your companion. He wants to hear your innermost thoughts and feelings. He's your confidant. He wants to build you up, give you advice and know what's going on in your life. And guess what? He won't go tell everyone what you said. He doesn't gossip! You can trust Him. Isn't that good news!

Lean On Him

I began to lean on that covenant of friendship that I have with Jesus and He began to fill that empty place in my life. I no longer felt alone or sad. I spoke with my best friend every day. We talked for hours. We communicated with each other and shared things with each other. I noticed that Jesus always fulfills His end of the deal. He was always there for me no matter what. But the real question is: am I always there for Him when He needs me?

What happens when I do have people around and I'm busy with things in my life, do I neglect my Friend? No, you continue to honor that friendship daily. You make time for each other. You sacrifice things so you can spend time together - just like you would for your close friend here on earth.

You cry together, laugh together, confide in each other and create memories together. You develop a long lasting friendship together - you go out of your way for one another.

It becomes an everlasting covenant of friendship. What is a covenant? It is defined as an agreement or a sealed contract. We have a sealed contract with Jesus that He will never leave us nor forsake us. We should never allow anything in our lives to take away our devotion towards Him.

A friend is someone you cherish, speak highly of, respect, honor and enjoy being around. Jesus is that friend to you and me. A healthy friendship is when the strengths of one over balance the weaknesses of the other. You draw on each other's strengths. When you're weak, lean on Jesus. He's got all the strength you need.

You may be thinking, "OK, Jesus is my friend, but I still need friends here on earth." Yes, you do. But once you develop that intimate friendship with Jesus, you won't feel lonely, insecure or sad - you'll be comforted by the Holy Spirit, you'll be fulfilled every day of your life, and in turn, God will send friends into your life for you to enjoy.

Jesus needs you as much as you need Him. Don't neglect the most important Friend in your life. He's always here for you - you can count on it!

Desiring a Loyal Friend

Written by Kenneth Hagin

"And it came to pass...that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.... Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul" (1 Sam. 18:1,3).

What a wonderful example of a friend's love and loyalty! Jonathan's own father, King Saul, was trying to kill David who had been anointed to take Saul's place as King of Israel.

But Jonathan remained devoted to his friend, David, even though it meant giving up his own legal right to his father's throne. Jonathan's friendship and undying loyalty to David saved David's life and prepared the way for him to take his rightful place as God's chosen king for God's people.

Too many people in the world today know little about the kind of steadfast loyalty and love Jonathan showed to his beloved friend, David. They know even less about the unconditional love of God - the kind of love that abides and endures through changing times and the stormy winds of adversity and uncertainty.

People everywhere long for relationships motivated by such a love. And in the midst of the chaos and unpredictability of the world today, God has made a way through Jesus Christ for each of us to have that kind of a relationship with God Himself!

Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Jesus initiated the greatest friendship man could ever know when He willingly came to the earth and laid down His life to redeem every person from sin and from the clutches of Satan. Jesus' act of unconditional love proved once and for all His commitment to befriend man.

The Bible says Jesus is the Friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24) and that in Christ, nothing can separate us from His great love (Rom. 8:39). There is no safer place to find a refuge of peace, rest, and tranquility in the midst of life's storms than with Jesus, your Beloved Friend.

You can begin this relationship with Jesus Christ by accepting Him as your Savior and Lord. And you can continually enjoy communion and fellowship with Him by desiring His matchless companionship and by drawing near to Him through His Word.

To know Jesus better is to trust Him more. The more you know about Jesus and His love for you, the more you will come to rely on His faithfulness and embrace Him as your Beloved Friend.

Covenant Friend

Written by Kenneth Hagin

And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked? Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein? That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
(Gen. 18:23-25)

God refused to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah until He had talked it over with Abraham, His blood covenant friend!

Abraham's prayer in Genesis, chapter 18 is one of the most suggestive and illuminating prayers in the Old Testament. Abraham was taking his place in the covenant that God had made with him—the Old Covenant, the Old Testament.

Through the covenant, Abraham had received rights and privileges we understand little about. The covenant Abraham had just solemnized with the Lord Jehovah gave Abraham a legal standing with God. Therefore, we hear Abraham speak plainly as he intercedes for Sodom and Gomorrah, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?"

Confession: I have a covenant with God, the New Covenant. I have covenant rights and privileges. I have a standing with God. I commune with God. I use my covenant rights and privileges in prayer. I join forces with my Father in carrying out His will and plan upon the earth.

Making New Friends

Written by Harrison House Publishers

It's difficult when you're the "new kid on the block." Maybe you've moved from a different city or state. Maybe you've just moved across town but now go to a new school.

Or, maybe you'd just like to branch out and make new friends. Whatever your reason, here are some tips to help you get started.

• Smile. When someone smiles at you, doesn't it make you want to smile back? Without saying a word, a smile makes others feel good, and people want to be around others who make them feel good.

• Pay genuine compliments. Don't you feel good when someone says they like something about you?

• Take a genuine interest in others. Ask people questions about themselves and really listen. Ask open-ended questions instead of ones with yes/no answers.

You could ask a person about his or her hobbies or where an individual got such a cool-looking jacket, for example.

• Remember people's names and use them whenever you see them. People like the sound of their own name and it conveys that you care enough to remember.

Making new friends isn't always easy, and sometimes it's downright scary. But if you'll make the effort, you'll be pleased with the results. Who knows?

Maybe you'll make a friend who will be a true friend for life.

Creating Friendships 

Written by Harrison House Publishers

Jesus, let me be a light that shines You in this world. I want people to be attracted to the light inside of me. Help people to see the fruit of the Spirit that is in my life because of You.

Help them to see my love because of Your unconditional love on the cross. Help them to see my joy because knowing that You are God makes every day a celebration.

Help them to see my peace because You have everything under control. Help them to see my patience because You are patient with me through my shortcomings. Help them to see my kindness because Your kindness led me to repentance. Help them to see my goodness, not because of me, but because I know a God who is extraordinarily good.

Help them to see my faithfulness to You and to them because Your faithfulness to me never ends. Help them to see my gentleness, just as You so gently have bandaged my wounds. Help them to see my self-control because, through knowing You, I never have temporary feelings that get the best of me; I know that my eternal promise is much more special.

Scripture References
Matthew 5:16
Galatians 5:22,23
1 John 2:25

The Friendship of Jesus

Written by Dwight Thompson

Jesus is a friend who walks in when the world has walked out.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

Although the North American Indians had no written alphabet before they met the white man, their language was anything but primitive. The vocabulary of many Indian nations was as large as that of the French and English explorers, and often far more eloquent. Compare the coldness of "friend" with "one-who-carries-my-sorrows-on-his-back." - United Church Observer

Friendship 101

Written by Beth Jones

Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!
(Proverbs 17:9, MSG)

I've talked to enough people over the years to know that the number one thing that ruins friendships is—being offended. It's a big friendship trap…so beware. We've all been offended and the offender, right? (FYI…the friends in this photo are perfect!)

Ok, so your friend ditched you and your feelings are hurt—again! She's too busy to return a phone call and your email is somewhere in her mailbox abyss—no chance of a "Reply" anytime soon. You're out to dinner with another couple and the other guy sarcastically insults your husband in an attempt to look like Captain Funny Boy. You take a few friends for a boat ride and one friend, with the sensitivity of a rock, tells you how much bigger his boat will be when he can afford to buy one. A friend at work says just enough to insinuate that your daughter is about a mile from Loserville, while boasting about his son's promotion from stock room to bagger.

Your spouse just "toned" you. Your dear friend loves to spend time with you, but she never initiates a get together; so unless the lower parts of the earth freeze over you will have to plan the next fun gathering. He promised that he'd be there, but once again at the last minute "something came up" and he just can't make it this time. You saved up, sacrificed, given and tried to bless someone in a big way and the weak or non-existent "thank-you" made you regret it.

Get the idea? Offenses come…Jesus said they would. People are people. If you've been offended by a friend or felt slighted; get over it! Are you disappointed and keeping a record of wrongs? Overlook it. Don't let bitterness even think about putting down roots. Otherwise, it's goodbye friend!

Wanna strengthen the friendship bonds? Walk in unconditional love! Keyword: unconditional. That means no strings attached. Remember, love doesn't keep a record of wrongs and hardly notices when someone does it wrong. I know…seems impossible doesn't it? Without God's love—it is impossible! So, yield to God's love, overlook offenses and walk in love…because next week, you'll be the offender and the one needing unconditional love from a friend! When it comes to being the perfect friend, we've all blown it. If you want your friends to overlook your offenses, be quick to overlook theirs.

Say This:
"Father, I thank You for all of the relationships You've blessed me with. I make a decision today to release everyone and anyone who has ever offended me in the slightest way. I make a decision to overlook it, to forget about it and to move on. I will not keep a record of their wrongs, I will offer mercy and unconditional love. Lord, I ask You to help me to be a good friend to others. In Jesus' Name. Amen."

Spiritual Friendship (PDF)

Written by Timothy Keller

Five 'Friends' That Will Take You Down 

Written by Blaine Bartel

The Bible tells us that those who walk with the wise will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed (Prov. 13:20).

Here are 5 different kinds of "friends" that can destroy your relationship with the Lord:

1. The mocker: the friend who always makes fun of spiritual things.
   

2. The doubter: the friend who believes and talks about the worst; usually the last to acknowledge what God can do.
   

3. The compromiser: the friend who goes to church and talks a good talk but, more often than not, does not back it up with a life that honors God.
   

4. The proud: the friend who thinks he or she is more spiritual than you or anyone else and constantly displays a critical attitude about everyone else's "lack of commitment".
   

5. The gossip: the friend who always "talks down" other people around you. If a person says negative things to you about his or her other friends, what is the person saying to them about you?

Debbie Downer and Friends

Written by Beth Jones

In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of people who are crooked and stubborn. Shine out among them like beacon lights, holding out to them the Word of Life.

(Phil. 2:14-16, TLB)

Do people take your Christian life and testimony seriously?

A friend of mine said someone asked her about the cross necklace she wore. They asked, "Is that necklace a decoration or are you really a Christian?" Fortunately, she really is a Christian, but what an interesting question to be asked, eh?

Why did that question even come up? It's likely because there are plenty of pretend believers who wear the Christian "decorations," but don't have anything to back it up. Worse, there are too many Debbie Downers, Eeyores and Schleprocks who claim to be Christians but their habit of complaining, negativity and grumbling completely invalidates their Christian testimony. How sad is that?

What kind of Christians are people looking for these days? Real ones!

Would you like to stand out in this dark, crooked, stubborn world? Would you like people to take your faith in Jesus Christ seriously? Would you like to extend a beacon of hope and the Word of Life to people who are lost, empty and living in confusion, hurt and pain?

It starts with our mouth! Instead of complaining, murmuring, faultfinding, grumbling and arguing like everyone else…how about expressing gratitude, thankfulness, encouragement, hope, faith and a positive attitude?

You can make a difference today! Set a different tone in your place of work, school, neighborhood, surroundings or home.

When Debbie Downer starts to grumble that it's Monday – why not say, "Hey Debbie, this is the day the Lord has made, so we might as well rejoice and be glad about it…it beats being dead."

When Eeyore murmurs about the price of gas – why not say, "Praise the Lord Eeyore, you have a car…it beats riding a donkey."

When Schleprock find fault with the boss or complains about his job – why not say, "Hey Schlep, with your resume you should be happy to have a job…it beats living under a bridge."

No one likes to be around the Debbie Downer, Eeyore or Schleprocks of the world…so let's not be one! Instead, let's be real Christians who change the atmosphere in our part of this dark, crooked, stubborn world by being positive, hopeful, faith-filled people.

Say It:

Father, help me to eliminate complaining, faultfinding, arguing, murmuring and grumbling from my life. I want to be a real, Christian. I ask You to help me infuse my world with the positive, hopeful, faith-filled reality of Jesus Christ and the Word of Life! In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Responsibilities of the Casual Friend

Written by Deborah Butler

The distinguishing characteristics of a casual friendship are as follows:

1) It's based on common interests, activities, and concerns.
2) You have the freedom to ask specific questions, such as what opinions, ideas, wishes or goals the person has.

(When I say common interests, I'm not talking about common experiences. Common experiences are not a basis for a friendship or relationship. The basis for a friendship is the individual. You should just enjoy being with an individual for the sake of his interests, likes, and character.)

There aren't any social responsibilities with casual friends. In other words, you don't have to call or see what's going on with someone. However, you do have two basic responsibilities. First, you need to learn to identify and praise the other person's positive qualities.

Too often we major on the negative. That's why some people don't have friends. If you major on the negative, you'll chase people away. You have to find their positive traits and major on those things.

When people come to my husband, Bishop Keith Butler, for counseling, he doesn't just "jump on them" and tell them everything they're doing wrong. He listens and discerns what they're doing right. If he just told them negative, negative, negative, they wouldn't come back!

He'll never send you out of his office feeling bad or say, "You're a poor excuse for a Christian - get out of my office" (even though that may be true)! He'll tell you something, such as, "You need to do such-and-such. You're on the right track. We're praying for you; we're in your corner." He'll lift you up and encourage you.

You have to build people up, and you build them up by telling them what they've done right. If you can't do anything else, you can at least call those things that be not as though they were (Rom. 4:17)!

Your second responsibility as a casual friend is to design appropriate specific questions for children, youth, and adults. Sometimes we just want to deal with adults and forget about the youth and children. But you can't just ignore them. You have to do the same thing with them that you do for adults, because children are really just little adults. In fact, some children are more adult than the adults are!

Now the general information that you gather as an acquaintance will help you ask appropriate questions at the casual friendship stage. So at this stage, you want to discover what the person is interested in.

The mistake we make is that we ask people about the things we're interested in. That's how we make enemies. They might not know we're interested in a particular thing. When we ask them about something that interests us, they think we're asking a legitimate question and trying to get to know them. Then when they give us their honest opinion that they hate something we like, we get mad! So we need to get to know people and ask them about what they're interested in.

Most of us have been approaching the friendship from a totally selfish concept - everything is about "me." But that's the world's way of doing things. God's approach is totally different. Everything is about the other person. He's interested in them.

You have to show some interest in other people, just like you would if you were looking for a job. Suppose you went for a job interview and you didn't know anything about the company or what they did? You wouldn't be able to ask intelligent questions when they gave you the opportunity.

Hopefully, when you go looking for a job, you take the time to research the company so you can at least look as if you know what you're doing. You want to show your prospective employer that you're really interested in the position.

Well, you have to do the same thing with friendships. When you're working on a friendship, you need to "research" or find out what the other person is interested in. If you just did that, you'd save yourself a lot of trouble, because once you found out that someone wasn't interested in what you're interested in, you'd know, Okay, we can't take this relationship past this stage at all.

But what we've done is taken folks that were meant to stay as casual friends, and we've brought them into close friendship and fellowship. We've chosen people that we think should be our friends, but they aren't our friends and can't be.

Because of the way we're conditioned and the lies that TV and Hollywood have presented to us, we'll decide right off the bat, I like that person. I want him to be my friend. Then we'll start confiding in that person. But that's how you get in trouble.

You may be putting all your information out to someone who will use it against you; someone who is totally selfish; someone who doesn't care about you - he or she only cares about themselves. After you have two or three experiences like that, you'll clam up and won't allow yourself to open up to anyone anymore. And that's not what God intended.

You have to approach friendships God's way, but you have to have some wisdom. You need to be very aware of the people around you, because the same ones who were put in your path for you to help could end up hurting you because you took it too far too fast.

You can't just go headlong and offer people information that they're not interested in. Some people will flat tell you, "I didn't ask you that. I didn't want to know all that." It's too much information. You have to take it slow.

Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin (I call him Dad Hagin) would always tell us when I was a student at RHEMA Bible Training Center that it's better to be too slow than to be too fast. In other words, it's easier to catch up than it is to clean up! You can always catch up, but cleaning up is not so easy.

The main thing to remember is that the choice to move from a casual friendship to a close one is a decision that each individual has to make for himself or herself with God.

 We are serious about you.

Contacts us, we want to pray for you.  God has a great things ahead for you.